I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize