I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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