hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
