sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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