Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I would fuck him just for his dog
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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