I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
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