I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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