yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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