If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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