i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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