Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
