We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
