Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
