And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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