I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
