Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
