my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
