no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
They took my balls.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
