Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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