if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
