I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
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