my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize