I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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