no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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