it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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