Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
