I wish my penis had an off switch
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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