Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
