You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
