I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
