wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
do herpes really smell.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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