Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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