Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He did a backflip because drugs
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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