My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
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