Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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