i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
