he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize
