please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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