The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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