White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
