i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
