This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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