Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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