I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
The struggles of a small town man whore
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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