never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
