Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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