I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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