I want to stick my p in your. b.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
