I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
