Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
