Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You have to summon your inner elephant
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
