...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
