It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I'm really busy with my period
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