yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
