That's intense
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
