help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
